2024 September #2
By a Joy Junction Staff Member (JBF)
Over the years, we have found that some of our guests became homeless because they were escaping an abusive situation. They needed protection and provision, both.
Unfortunately, it has become apparent that abuse is present in all types of family units.
It doesn’t matter if they are married.
It doesn’t matter if they have children.
It doesn’t matter if the income is low or high.
It doesn’t matter if elderly parents are present.
It doesn’t matter if they rent or have a mortgage.
Abuse is an independent and personal choice. The person doing the abusing has the option to gain control over their emotions and behavior – or not. When the option chosen is to give in to the anger or rage that is building up, other people suffer.
It’s a very painful and hard time in the lives of those who receive the assault, and experience such trauma. Many of them are left, thrown out, or escape…and wind up homeless.
Life’s journey becomes much different at that point. For the homeless person, the road may seem to get longer and longer as they realize that nothing is changing for them…except where they might find food for the day and a place to sleep at night.
When a person finally decides that they need to make a u-turn on their decision-making path, that seems to be when they come to us…ready to focus on a new way of living.
One of our guests, Talia (not her real name), needed our services in an urgent way.
Here’s her story:
I was raised by my dad, for the most part, and my kids and I were living with him. I wasn’t close to the other members of my family. So, when my dad died, I had no one to turn to. Then, I met a man who seemed to care for me and my kids, so we moved in with him.
I fell in love with him. But, it wasn’t long before we began arguing. Then, the arguing escalated into fights. Those fights got worse, and bruises and stitches became a regular thing.
I realized I was being controlled…and not loved.
I was in an abusive relationship…
I knew that if I didn’t leave, I was going to wind up dead.
After three years of trying to escape, I finally found out about Joy Junction. One night, after receiving a fractured cheek bone, I had an opening to leave. I took my kids and ran away.
I finally feel free. We are safe and I am happy again.
I’m so thankful for this place!
Sadly, there are many women who find themselves in the same situation as Talia. We are so glad she, and others, have had the courage to leave abusive relationships and, instead of trying to live on the streets, come to us. We welcome them with open arms and do our best to get their lives and minds turned around to a healthy, stable mindset so they can heal (emotionally, mentally, and physically).
When they see that we have a heart to help, we hope it reassures them that we want them to feel important, that they matter, and that they are not going to be overlooked.
It usually takes a lot of time for them to learn to trust again. As each day goes by, we love on them and make sure they feel safe. Little by little, they open up and begin to purge the pent-up fear, anger, and any other emotion they’ve been harboring inside that has caused them to be in the situation they are in.
We know their desire is to be able to live on their own again, to be in charge of their own future. However, even though their desire may be to have a place of their own, such a thought is very scary for them.
What if they are found by the previous abuser?
What if their children are taken away from them by the abuser?
What if they do not have the willpower to stand up against that other person?
What if..?
Remembering the awful, abusive scenarios that happened before is not always enough incentive to prevent a repeat situation from becoming a reality. The willpower to stay away from a former abuser is not always strong.
Some of the abusers are blood relatives…not just a mate or significant other.
Since there was a relationship between them and the abuser before, uncertainty on whether they feel they can choose the right direction in a relationship again is in question (in their mind).
Our goal is to help them feel strong enough to stand up against the same type of situations that may come along in their future. Our program curriculum attempts to equip them to be able to lean on God, seek His wisdom, and make the decision to say “no” to any ungodly scenarios.
As well, we strive to help them begin working on gaining employment and, when the time eventually comes, to find a place of their own.
That’s a wonderful goal to meet. They’ve usually gone through some very rough days, weeks, or months to arrive at the place where they feel confident enough to move on with their lives. However, as long as they truly require our assistance, they are welcome to stay with us for as long as they need to. That knowledge provides peace of mind.
We do our best to offer encouragement, and try to motivate each of our program participants toward confidence, healing, and rehabilitation. Our life recovery program gently moves individuals in a positive direction, toward a life full of hope.
Even though it may be hard for them to envision, we know a better life really does exist for them.
